With all of the effort that goes into maintaining a relationship, and the circumstances that can come against it, dating is a fight. We have a hook up culture that allows the physical benefits of a relationship without the commitment. Nude photos between partners are posted all over the internet for the entertainment of perfect strangers. We have a social media that people often use to express the happiness of the relationships or its many troubles.
If you are in a relationship, you are likely engaged in some form of combat, and it would behoove you to win. However, it is how you define your victory and how you intend to achieve it that makes all the difference.
Whatever your goal, love is worth fighting for, but there are two kinds of fighters who practice different philosophies, boxers and street daters.
There is a lot more to boxing than the fight itself. Boxers practice the fundamentals and gain the physical fitness required to perform them. Muhammad Ali worked out like a professional athlete in high school, and when he turned pro, he never lost his roots. He trained and maintained a strict diet until he showed up to fight Joe Louis weighing over two hundred pounds of speed and power and annihilated the defending champion.
Mike Tyson also trained for hours every day, and when he wasn’t working with Cus D’Amato, he shadowboxed in his room. By the time he entered the ring for his World Championship bout, he had a wolverine’s physique and tenacity and snatched his belt from Trevor Berbick.
Boxers understand that preparation wins the fight long before you enter the ring. To get what you want, you must will yourself to become the person who deserves it.
People who date like boxers use this approach in everyday life. They’re not in a rush to have someone to keep them company. Instead, they work on themselves first. They set up a five-year plan for their career and carry it out. They set fitness goals and achieve them. They commit to going to church every Sunday, calling their parents every Saturday, or reading a book a week. They will pursue anything that they believe makes them a better person before they connect with someone else.
Nobody is perfect, but when you date like a boxer you select your partner and live every day like someone who deserves her. By the time the two of you enter the proverbial ring, you’re built for the relationship. You’re ready to go the distance. No one can stop you from getting what you came for.
Instead of just looking for a special someone, you work on yourself until you can’t help but be special to someone else. You live a life with a vision knowing that you have all of the tools necessary to realize it and possess the qualities necessary for a healthy relationship.
There is more to boxing than just the training and the fight. Boxing has rules. You don’t punch below the belt. You don’t punch the back of the head. You can’t grab someone and hit them. You cannot elbow, kick, or head butt your opponent. You must fight with your fists and you must fight clean. When the bell rings, you stop fighting and go to your corner until it’s time for the next round.
A boxing match isn’t just a fight. It’s a test of wills, an exchange between two people at their physical zenith. The rules ensure that the playing field is equal with no unfair advantage given to either fighter at any time. The best way to gain that advantage is to fight better than your opponent.
When you date like a boxer, you have rules too. You don’t hit below the belt by lying, cheating, or using any form of psychological or physical abuse, and anyone else who does is disqualified from your life.
If you have a conflict, you resolve it, and you let it go. You don’t keep swinging after the bell by holding grudges and bringing up past hurts to gain a present advantage.
When you date like a boxer, you seek out someone who trains as much as you do. When you meet, both of you will work hard to prove yourselves worthy of each other,and one of the best ways to prove yourself is by following the rules and respecting each other’s boundaries. When you date like a boxer, you conduct yourself with dignity, honor, and respect for the other person; much like a boxer respects the sport he loves.
Not everyone treats dating like a boxing match. Some treat it like a street fight.
A street fight is nothing like boxing because nobody trains beforehand. Street fights are often a spur of the moment encounter, and the opponents are usually out of shape and too drunk to throw a proper punch.
There are no rules in a street fight. You can and should aim for the eyes, throat, and groin to take your opponent down fast. Bite if you must. Use weapons of opportunity; bottles, bricks, pipes, or any other hard object you can get your hands on.In a street fight, you must do whatever it takes to win with no hesitation or mercy.
There are no rounds in a street fight. No bell tells you when to start or stop. Some circles advise that in a street fight, you don’t stop when your opponent has had enough. You stop when you’ve had enough, and you are too tired to raise your arm to hit him again. That’s how you send a message to anyone else that you are not to be trifled with.
Street fights are about survival. When someone attacks you on a sidewalk, you’re not fighting with a strategy you’ve mapped out with months of training and studying tape. You’re punching, kicking, scratching, gouging, and biting for your life because you don’t know what to expect from the other guy. When you’re outside of a sanctioned environment, there are too many variables to play it safe. So it is your job to eliminate the threat in front of you as quickly as possible. There is no test of wills. There is no honor. There is only the instinctual desire to live another day.
While boxing is a sport that exemplifies discipline and strengthens the mind, a street fight seldom draws out any positive qualities. Anyone who engages in a street fight for any reason other than at least a perceived necessity is most likely intoxicated, a hot tempered fool who can’t walk away from a fruitless confrontation, or someone with a fetish for hurting people. This is especially true if you initiate the altercation every time. The only exceptions are extreme circumstances, including but not limited to: defending yourself, saving a victim of domestic violence, or protecting a child from abuse.
Street fights should be a last resort because they can result in serious injury or even death. Taking such a risk requires the utmost justification. If that justification is not available, it is best to just walk away. You’re not impressing anyone, especially if and when you lose.
Street daters aren’t trying to better themselves so that they’ll be ready for a great relationship. All they care about is their survival at your expense, and they will do anything to ensure it. They have no limits and refuse to respect your boundaries.
Street daters walk into relationships hoping they are the last ones standing in the end. So if they think you might leave, they break up with you first. While you’re dating, they keep romantic interests on the back burner just in case they don’t get what they want.
Some street daters use you as a stepping stone to reach the person they truly see as their ideal partner. They continue to look for more of what you don’t have while they’re with you; better body, prettier face, more money, greater pedigree. Once they find that better person, or someone they think is better, they will leave you in a heartbeat.
Street daters come in many forms from all genders and sexual orientations; players, abusers, cheaters, and social climbers to name a few. They all walk into a relationship looking for a way to survive the encounter, not make it better, and the only way to survive is to eliminate the threat standing in their way. You become that threat when you respect yourself and set healthy boundaries.
When someone is looking for a street fight, walk away unless you’re forced to engage. If you must engage, finish your opponent without delay and keep it moving. Street fights bring nothing but trouble, and if you’re smart, you’ll never purposely make time for them.
Street daters bring trouble every day throughout the course of your relationship, and you shouldn’t make time for them either. When you realize you are dealing with a street dater, turn your back on him. Just walk away before someone gets hurt because that someone will likely be you, and he’ll move on to his next victim when he’s finished.
Don’t be a victim. Don’t play the street dater’s game. Leave her where she stands and move on. When you have a vision for your life, you don’t have time for the drama a street dater will bring. You’re too busy preparing for the true victories in life.
Date like a boxer, and spend every day improving yourself. Become the best you can be and date someone who is doing the same so you have more to give to each other. After fighting for your relationship, you will both raise your gloves in victory while the whole world cheers, and the street daters will keep slugging it out after you’ve kicked them out of your life.
Love like boxers and you will always be winners. You’ve trained too hard to be anything else.
Continue to fight for each other, and you’ll always be an unstoppable 1-2 combination.
Have you ever had to fight for someone you love? Have you made things work despite the odds? Inspire us all by commenting and sharing your story with the rest of us. Until then, catch you next time. Like the rest of my fellow boxers, I’ve got some training to do. Peace and Love.
Fight well, my friends.